-.2 Pounds. What?!!!
OK. So I haven't been posting much this week. Yes, I'm angry.
I went to my last WW meeting last Tuesday all set and excited to see how many pounds I'd lost. I was confident that I'd lost at least a pound. I was all on board with this slow weight loss thing, and the whole lifestyle change thing, but I had worked hard the week prior. I was constantly aware of what I was eating, and had incorporated at least 4 more cups of greens into my diet the previous week. I was elated, I could tell my belly was shrinking, my clothes fitting me ever so slightly better, and I was prepared to step on that scale, and see my weight had shrunken by at least a whole number.
I jauntily stepped up to the weigh in cubicle- WW has little stations where you can place all of your "heavy" items like your purse or in my case, my fleece sweatshirt, on a chair, take your shoes off, and step up to the scale. Writing it down, it sounds horrific, but it's great. It's your sort of goal marker for the week. It helps you get a sense of where you've been and how you've done. It's instant feedback and I respect that...
So, I looked down at the number pad, and I see my weight. I instantly do the math (it's not hard). I've only lost .2 lbs! !!! My heart is beating, my head light, and I sit down at my chair. Thoughts racing through my head. 'But, but I did all of the points. I even came in under my points for the week.... This isn't fair!... I'm still fat after all this hard work... I'll be fat forever!' I was so preoccupied, I could hardly participate in the meeting, and when the leader asked us to share what we'd changed and what had worked, even though I had made some major changes for myself, I didn't feel like sharing- since none of it apparently had worked.
I was SO ANGRY. I walked out of that meeting and the next day shoved a $5 brownie down my throat- well I reserved a little less than half of it for the next day. I must admit WW has had a positive influence on me. I don't finish my desserts anymore in one go. I don't finish anything worth a lot of points off in one go anymore. The game aspect is somewhat fun, if not frantic. I find myself constantly trying to conserve my points. Except for when I'm angry and rebelling against "THE SYSTEM" of course.
Anyway, I stuck with it. It's now Sunday, and in 2 more days, I'll go back to another WW meeting, hopefully at least another .2 lbs lighter! Have I learned to temper my expectations? Hell no! I still want to see that pound difference from week to week. Do I aim to high? Perhaps my effort levels are too low. I remember the last time I lost weight I was working out like crazy 4-5 days a week. Meaning drenched with sweat on a treadmill for 45 min. No, I haven't chosen to pursue that route this time- perhaps because I'm lazy, but mainly because that's not necessarily what my program calls for. Does this make WW bad? I don't know. We'll see. What I do know is that every crazy weight loss kick I've gone on hasn't lasted and I end up doing some or all of the following: hating it, eating more "healthy food" and gaining more weight, rebelling and going on a sugar-fat kick for a couple of weeks, and in general not losing weight. Plus I have an emotional roller coaster ride along the way.
I like the slow, easy pace of this so far. It's gentleness, the friendly vibe I feel from the people who go to these meetings, and I like the idea of it being a long distance run. Who knows- maybe an intensive work out schedule is necessary for me to lose all my pounds. It couldn't hurt. And perhaps it's on the way. One thing I have liked is my increase in physical activity in general. WW incentivizes physical activity by giving you additional points for it. So I find myself walking vigorously for at least 20 minutes every day. This is something I have been wanting to do, and reading in Weight loss text books for years, but I could never motivate myself to do it. My hats off the the psychologists behind WW. The found a winning formula for me. And I'm thankful for this. I actually get off my ass every day and walk and am enjoying it. Then I get to punch it into the computer and see an accrual of assets(points). Very satisfying.
This comes to the final point in my long ramble-rant. Well 2 points. One- the WW leader asked me if I had kicked up the level of physical activity in my regimen. I had. She said then, you have to start measuring yourself with other ways besides body weight. Measure your arms, legs, and waist. Any number of factors are possible in slow weight loss- water retention, your cycle, increase in muscle mass. I looked it up, and she's right: I found this great article on slow weight loss and fat loss plateaus:
http://www.burnthefatblog.com/archives/2011/01/unexplainable-fat-loss-plateaus-explained.php
My second point- she said I was using the TLAR method. Ever heard of it? I'm sure you've used it. TLAR, as in "That Looks About Right" and eyeballing all of your food. For the past week, I had estimated and eyeballed everything I ate. I watched this rather horrifying video about what happens when you do that. Everyone should see this, though it still hasn't motivated me to buy a food scale. That will be the next step towards obsession for me in this Weight loss battle. But maybe it will give me some freedom. Either way, I won't give in to it fully.
Here's the link. It's called "Shocking Weightloss Video" - Ha ha. If their intention is to scare us into submission, it sort of worked on me.
http://www.tomvenuto.com/articles/shocking_fat_loss_video.shtml
Anyway, this week I have been much better about at least measuring my rice and peanut butter and maple syrup in a cup or table spoon. So at least I'm honest about how much I'm eating.
We'll see if it has any effect. I don't necessarily feel or see that I've lost a terrible amount of weight this week, but who knows, hopefully this mindset leads to the opposite outcome this coming week.
